Thought Salad

• Kev’s gone for the week and I’m in charge. WOOT!!! We have done almost nothing! I cannot seem for the life of me to crack the whip and make these kids complete the list of do’s that he created for them because as far as I’m concerned, summer break is Greek for “Let’s do squat and see how much fun we can eek from it!” (Isn’t “eek” a great word?!)
• The basement smells kinda bad, a pot pourri of cat box, teenage boy, water leakage, and aging wood finish. Doesn’t that make you just want to come over and breathe deeply... No wonder this is the stuff I'm puttin' out...
• Went to youth group tonight because the speaker was thought of highly by my kids and the youth pastor. Ryan nailed it: "He’s young, passionate, scripturally right on, and there’s definitely stuff you can take home." I think it’s funny that I enjoy youth group, so I don’t analyze it very much—I just go when I can. Ryan said I’m a high school girl at heart. I didn’t know whether to hug him for knowing me well, or to hit him for labeling me immature. As an aging mom, I’m really just glad to be noticed anymore, so thanks, Ry...
• There’ve been so many gatherings lately—graduations, weddings, funerals, showers, and birthdays. What's with June that it makes us scramble?
• Every time I turn around my daughter has my camera. When I go to take pictures half the time, I can’t because the batteries are too low. Then when I review the pics on my camera, they’re mostly of her. Why does she want so many pictures of herself? They’re in all these different effects—emo, sepia, color swap—all taken as if “someone else” was the photographer, and he just happened to come across this young girl in deep thought. Yeah, that... Guess I’m not supposed to notice that her arm is slung halfway into the frame, taking “candid shots.” That’s lovely. And so very clever. Mental note: Suggest to kids that they bleach the gene pool before proliferating...
• Sarcasm isn’t what I thought it was. Always thought it meant clever in-your-faceness, but it’s more something of contempt and derision, not really my style. I mean, look at these definitions!

1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
3. 1579, from L.L. sarcasmos, from Gk. sarkasmos "a sneer, jest, taunt, mockery," from sarkazein "to speak bitterly, sneer," lit. "to strip off the flesh," from sarx (gen. sarkos) "flesh," prop. "piece of meat," from PIE base *twerk- "to cut" (cf. Avestan thwares "to cut").
   I just want to kind of make light of people, not shred them into a jillion tiny shards. I just like to play god, not God...

I hate giant dandelions, houndstongue (doesn't that just sound disgusting?!), knapweeds, and thistles. They reek of being the spawn of satan. I'm not even kidding a little bit. There's not a poison deadly enough to douse them with, but dang if I'm not trying. If I start exhibiting signs of severe mental deterioration, delusions of grandeur, or more paranoia than normal, you'll know it's the 2-4-D and not an organic mental disturbance. Just divvy up my jewelry amongst my little gerbils and tell 'em I loved 'em with the most Nazi-like affection. That'll make 'em think about me for the rest o' their lives.