Friday, March 28, 2008

precious time

I’m having such a wonderful time here over Brett’s spring break. It’s an amazing comfort to have him in the house. I wake up thinking, “We’re all here...” It is a satisfaction so deep and seemingly knitted into my makeup. I’ve been fixing him a nice breakfast, and then if I don’t join him, I putz in the kitchen while he watches TV. While I watch him. Just drink him in, y'know?

When I think of him, I see his face pretty much like the one here, slightly unshaven, smiling, military haircut, and those dark, twinkling eyes with their silent language. I can get teary just writing this. There’s something about him being grown up and on his own that makes something catch in my chest. At the same time I can cry for joy and pain because this parenting thing is truly the most bittersweet experience of life.

People often say, "You must be so proud." It's not that I'm not, it's more that I'm so very glad for him. I'm proud for him that he's accomplished so much and has these high goals. I'm thankful most of all that he wants God's best. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth," 3 John 4. There is no credit for me to take--the desire for God is itself a gift from Him. This is his walk, and for me it's both admirable and inspiring. He has found a balance between seriousness & fun, excess & frugality, dependence and courage. And the guy has the best one-liners--he makes me a laugh a LOT!

He goes back to school this Sunday. The next time we see him he will have finished his junior year in college, spent six weeks in China, and assigned his squadron post as a Firstie (senior). During that time I hope he keeps his heart on straight, has wonderful adventures, and misses home once in a while. I'll mark off another countdown on the calendar because I like to have something to look forward to, and I'll start collecting things to send him in his next care package. I'll pray for him, and I'll pray for me, that as I miss him more than all the words in all the languages could ever allow him to understand right now, it's with a truly grateful and humble heart that I savor this relationship that has been such a teacher for me as a mother, a person, and a believer. Thank You, my Abba...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


What’s with the freakin’ snowstorm at the end of March?! GEEEEEZ!!! While this is not a healthy spiritual response to an act of nature controlled by God, it is nonetheless my response.

Perhaps my life will have been spared tragedy and misery by having to stay in. Maybe I'm being spared only some slight inconvenience. Could be that I've even been spared some great good fortune that would have turned out to be some ugly destruction of something good and right in my soul. Maybe...

Might be that I'm just supposed to hang out here with Brett and savor his being right here with me.

Now that I think of it like that, I realize this weather is a great good thing!

Oh, how fickle the mind of this pre-menopausie...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It's Nice to Be Us...

We did something kind of different yesterday, five of us Ya-Yas. We accompanied Cheryl to a hair appt and two doctor thingies. While Tina and I waited through her fake haircut, Tina sat in the other salon seat where I massaged her scalp with my fingernails. Then it was my turn, and she gave me this fabulous neck and shoulder payback--eeYUM! Tina was captivated by the antique books and relics in the hutch. I like when her childlike earnestness draws me into her world. Lunch was traumatic for me, and I was genuinely grateful to be surrounded by friends who cared enough to invest time and heart in settling me back down. [I forgive your bad attitude, you cranky cashier.]

I do agree that it’s probably easier to be heartless, but He made me sensitive, so this is my cup. Fortunately, He drank first, and He took it in hot and full so that I wouldn’t get burned.

The art we saw at Annie’s work place was so interesting--a destination spot all by itself! Thank you for the sweet welcome and for the personal tour! You are one beauty-full chica! Wishing you standing O's on your show, too!

I noticed that we get looks everywhere we go—the doctor’s office, library, restaurants, just everywhere. It must be fairly unusual for five women to go places together. It begins with noticing two of us, usually in front, and then a scan that takes in the other three, and then the realization that we are all together.

And yeah, we ARE altogether lovely!

I miss you the most when we say goodbye. XO

Monday, March 17, 2008

luck o'the four


(If four leaves are lucky, what do you get for six?!)

Friday, March 14, 2008

I win!

I won two free coupons for mochas this morning. I was in the kitchen and called KMBI for their share-athon. Afterward, I went to the bedroom and the radio was on. I heard, “Caller number seven wins two free mochas,” and he gave the number. That is pretty cool of KMBI to do that. I didn’t recognize it the number, so I spastically pushed the buttons on my cell phone. “You’re caller number seven! Who’s this?” It was at that moment that I realized this was not KMBI, and that I had no idea what station this was. He had to ask for my name twice because I froze at the thought of him asking what my favorite radio station was. What am I going to say—KTSL?! He didn’t ask, big whew, but he did give me directions. I had to keep listening another ten minutes after the call to identify my benefactor. Now I have to go downtown to pick up my coupons. I’ll do it on Thursday when I pick up Brett from the airport! It’ll probably cost more in meter money than the coupons are worth and I don’t even know what coffee shop they’re for, but it should be fun!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


I heard a speaker say that scientists declare that every sound ever made is repeated forever in the universe. A spoon hits the floor, and the sound echoes on forever. What a daunting thought when I consider the worthlessness of soooo much of what I've said. And what a deep pleasure to consider that every one of His words contains all of eternity and abides into eternity.

Try This

  1. Standing, look up and pretend there's a big clock.
  2. Point one arm up and put your finger on the 12.
  3. Now slowly move your arm clockwise. Do this 2-3 times.
  4. Now slowly bring your hand down and keep turning.
  5. At about chest level, see if you're still turning clockwise.

I unheart computers

I hate PC's. I hate them. I hate them for so many reasons. They're heartless. To fix their problems requires a higher thinking that I don't have so I'm dependent on the mercy of others. They're inconsistent, and they're time suckers. And money pits. I mean, no one ever gets their money back on them.

A pox on them all.

Come to think of it, someone else probably cursed them already. That explains a lot......

I want a Mac.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

the high places

I came across this phrase in Amos 4:13 and looked it up in different translations.

NIV: [He] treads the high places of the earth

Young's Literal: [He] is treading on high places of earth

Message: He strides across the alpine ridges.

NASB: [He] treads on the high places of the earth

The Lord walks upon the high places. He goes about up there, powerfully, full of glory, at will, in all His full blown splendor. He created them, they are of Him. They are a holy place where He is worshiped. What a horrible dishonor He puts up with when there is rubble and flotsam and dung where only holiness belongs. Your unearthly patience and tenderness compel me to do serious hasmat cleanup. What swollen shame to make and keep idols there, to blacken His holy places.

I want nothing, absolutely nothing, to dishonor You in my high places. I want there to be snow white purity and childlike exhibition in my worship on these high places.

"Clear me from hidden and unconscious faults.
Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then shall I be blameless, and I shall be innocent
and clear of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my firm, impenetrable Rock and my Redeemer." ~Ps. 19:12b-14 (Amp)