Wednesday, January 31, 2007

editing job

I'm off to a meeting with a man who has invited me to consider taking on the copy editing job for the addendum to his book about a woman involved in a murder who escaped from prison. If she's still alive, she'd be 103. His grandfather was her defense attorney. The book's already written, and now he's got more material from the woman's grandson, including original articles and family lore.

I checked out some copy editing pages, and even though I already knew I was just a practicing critic, I really know now that I'm a complete amateur. I wasn't even sure if "copy editing" was what it's called that I've been doing for the senior research papers, that is, until last night when I found the definition online.

Lord, if this is something You would have me do, please, please, I need to sense Your very real involvement in the decision. You know I want to bless Your name, and I would only want this if You say it's what You want. High school papers are one thing; copy editing a book seems quite another. I come to You needy and wanting and seeking. Please wrap Your arms around me and speak the words that would drive away any fear. I rest surely in Your safe and loving care, certain that You will have happen what is Your good and perfect will. I love You, Daddy. XO

Monday, January 29, 2007

Fisher House

The national news is not a place where I usually hear any good news. But tonight NBC did a story on a place called Fisher House. Built by a real estate tycoon who was never able to serve in the military himself, he built 24 homes for families of victims recovering from wounds suffered in the war. Since the onset of the Iraqi war, eleven more have been built. This is a fantastic idea, equivalent to the Ronald McDonald houses for parents with hospitalized children.

For more info: Fisher House

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

someone else's dreams

When I heard of the plans a young man I know was making, I immediately poo-pooed them and considered them hot air, big talk, and absolutely unaccomplishable. I kept shaking my head and thinking, "He's just like his dad. That's never gonna happen."

I was still headshaking when I shared my new info with my oldest son, who listened politely. When I asked what
his impressions were, he gently said something like, "I hesitate to rain on anyone's dreams. They might sound unreachable, but they're still someone's dreams."

I was speechless.With a gentleness and a wisdom beyond his 17 years, his words instantly placed me back in that higher place of compassion, encouragement, and believing. It is a wide open space of grace, and I was profoundly--and humbly--thankful.

My 12th commandment: I shall not pee in your cornflakes.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

to receive

Friends took us out to lunch today, but didn't come right out and say they'd be paying for us. We have a lot in common, but financial status isn't one of them. It's such a humbling thing to be taken care of... And I don't know if it's a curse or a blessing, but I feel very much able to be given to, to receive with thankfulness and genuine gratitude, vs. able to give. We just have never seemed in the position to be able to give with the abandon we would LOVE. So if to receive is something that blesses the willing eager giver, then I'm your man! And I don't believe I'm a leech lying in wait for the next vulnerable... I just think I have this particular lesson down.

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Saturday, January 13, 2007

the smell of my horse

I love the smell of my horse. I can tell the difference between the smell of my horse and another horse's smell. It's like when my kids were babies. Their smell was different from another baby's smell. Even when they were poopy, they never smelled as bad as another poopy baby. I know, it's that "mine is better than yours" thing, but that was still my reality. Such is how it is with my horse. He's my baby. He smells good. Only another horsey person could possibly come close to understanding what I'm saying. That's just the way it is.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


freaky computers... make my life so much easier one minute, then the next I wanna gut mine and use it as a planter.

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Love is / is not

On the Love Chapter:

Love is Patience & Kindness

Love is not jealousy

It is not bragging

It is not pride

Love is not rudeness

Is not selfishness

Is not disturbance toward others

Love is not grudgeholding

Love is Righteousness & Holiness & Truth

Love is Acceptance & Acquiescence

It is Trust, Hope & Strength

Love is Everlasting



Love is NOT:








(7 total)

Love IS:












(11 total)

Conclusion: There’s more loving to do than not loving.

I want to get busy. †

My Missing Song

My Missing Song

There's a bead missing from my bracelet.
I've been looking for it now for days.
It's a light blue bead, I don't know how it was freed.
If you find it, I'll be grateful always.

There's a note missing from my songbook.
I've been looking for it now for weeks.
It's a sweet, clear note I was happy that I wrote.
It's a haunting melody that now speaks.

There's a thread missing from my weaving.
I've been looking for it now for months.
It's a scarlet thread, and without it now I dread...
It's a tapestry for which my heart hunts.

There's a voice missing from my chorus.
I've been looking for it now for years.
It's a small, still voice of the very finest choice,
One that used to soothe and calm all my fears.

There's a face missing from my memory.
I've been looking for it all my life.
It's a royal face filled with tenderness and grace.
He's my Lover-love, and I am His wife.

[Bridge--don't have one yet]

All these things, missing in my story...
I can look until my eyes grow dim,
But if I just "be," maybe they will come to me,
And I'll find my heart is safe inside Him.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

a dog and God

A dog is:













Desirous to please

Easily pleased





Some breeds are noble, brave, and especially intelligent

God is 'dog' spelled backward, only capitalized, and He's all those things plus a whole eternityload more. I think that's awfully cool.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


There are friends, and there are FRIENDS. These Ya-Yas of mine are the kind who get under the skin and attach themselves to places you didn't even know you had. Then they show up at the most unexpected times with words that wrench, sear, tug, melt, moisten, topple, or entwine my innards. All unawares...

Take my Tina for instance... just the thought of her face can make me smile out loud. There is a childlike quality about her questioning, but also--and disconcertingly--there is a wisdom of the ages. It can be a wild & adventurous combination.

There is my Jewelee... aaahhhhhhhh... This one shares my DNA. Together we have 3/4 of a mind. We can finish each other's sentences. Our intimacy used to create an envy of sorts at one time in some of the others. We've come to terms with our oneness and know that no matter how long we're apart, no matter the horrendous experiences (and there have been doozies!), no matter the time we've not spoken, we are still together, and one. I have no other like her. She is my Gift.

Glenice makes me laugh with almost every memory! She cartwheels through airports just so the bored employees have something to look at! She runs out of the bathroom topless just so the knocking one can have in! She builds outhouses and firepits with her bare hands and fixes the car herself. She can draw blood and analyze it as well as she can coach a gold medal soccer team. All these accomplishments aside, it is her insides that draw me and keep my heart. She is compassion on wheels and fiercely loving. Her loyalty is unequaled, her persistent heart offerings unmeasurable. She is her Abba's, and He is her beloved.

Cheryl and I are SO different. Sometimes I think we're from different planets with neither of us being from this one. She makes me think. She directs me to God, and I want to know Him so very much better. We seem to do the best one-on-one in person. I think and speak in terms of feelings and sensings and vague familiarities, but she is very concrete and analytical. Someone told me that she hugs in order to get love, but I rather believe this is not true. I believe she might benefit from that hug, but it's the safest, surest, most direct word from God, through her, to the huggee. She is intelligent, well-read, passionate, trusting, fun, and lovable.

I'll write more of the remaining Ya-Yas when I am so inspired. That's one thing we understand about one another--we will not be guilted into doing something that our Abba does not ask. When it comes, it comes. If not, we either wait, or get over it.

Every girl would be as blessed as I am with even one of these women, so... grateful am I to have to have six!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Psalms that Wing Me to New Heights!

- Ps. 5:8 Lead me, O Lord, in Your righteousness because of my enemies. make Your way level, straight and right before my face. V. 12b as with a shield You will surround him with goodwill, pleasure and favor.

- Ps. 35:1-3 Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand for my help! Draw out also the spear and javelin and close up the way of those who pursue and persecute me. Say to me, I am your deliverance!

- Ps. 65:11 To You belongs silence--the submissive wonder of reverence which bursts forth into praise...

- Ps. 125:1-2 Those who trust in, lean on, and confidently hope in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but abides and stands forever. As the mountains are found about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about His people from this time forth and forever.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

tipped tree

Bettie Boo will be home for two more days, then flies back to USAFA on Sunday. He got extra days this Christmas break, but of course, it doesn't seem any longer. Makes me cry just thinking about him leaving again. Will it ever not hurt to say goodbye...?

The Christmas tree tipped over, and my two new ornaments broke--the teapot from Kim and the Starbucks cup (the twin to Anita's). It was such a bummer. And Kev got all kinds of needles in his salad! He kept saying he was sorry when the Starbucks ornament broke, but it wasn't his fault--it just happened! Such a willingness to apologize... he knew how much I liked it. I glued it back together, but there's a hole the size of a nickel in the side, and the whole thing's only 2" high to begin with. It's a clumsy illustration of how my heart feels never quite whole with Brett away from home.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


Jesus is the life I lead.
Jesus is what I say and what I do.
Jesus is why I breathe and how I breathe.
Jesus is where I go and when I go.
Jesus is my mind, my body, my spirit and soul.
Jesus is my eyes, ears, voice, hands, feet, heart, and blood.
Jesus is my thought, my reason, my order, clarity, and light.
Jesus is my beloved Captor.

Jesus is my grin and my tears.

Jesus is my deepest sorrow and most exquisite ecstasy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Jesus!!! †