Sometimes I take life too seriously. Out of a deep need for comic relief, I did a little search for some humor. There are truckloads of funny stuff out there, but I don't have your average funny bone. Quirky, tweaky, mildly edgy would be more like it. I share with you some of the better G-rateds.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
~Horace Walpole English novelist
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
~Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions.
~Submitted by Jamara Pyeatt