Friday, September 17, 2004

Funny Quotes

Sometimes I take life too seriously. Out of a deep need for comic relief, I did a little search for some humor. There are truckloads of funny stuff out there, but I don't have your average funny bone. Quirky, tweaky, mildly edgy would be more like it. I share with you some of the better G-rateds.

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Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
~Horace Walpole English novelist

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
~Unknown

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
~Albert Einstein

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
~Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
~Jane Wagner

5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions.
~Submitted by Jamara Pyeatt