Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Brain busyness. And my mom.

The Walk theme verse is right there in today's Joy & Strength! (Luke 24:32)

My head is still filled with images careening around, competing for attention. The cacophony demands to be addressed at certain times, and I can't wait for the calm that comes with time when all the rice has settled around the walnuts (click here for an explanation if that's unfamiliar). Come to think of it, that's not even an accurate visual, but that's how my brain's been acting lately! At least I can blog about it now. I'm still fatigued from the sleeping three nights in a strange place. Well, I think that's what it's from...

I still have thank you notes to mail. I want to personally thank everyone who took the time to get notes of encouragement and inspiration to me. That was really great. I looked forward to that. Plus we got candy and chatzke too. Fun.

My mom called in the middle of my quiet time, all full of fear. Dad was so frustrated talking to a serviceman about Mom's VCR, and in trying to manage three remotes and the phone, he spoke into a remote two different times. She tried to tell him he was talking into the wrong thing, but he told her to be quiet. (In fairness, she often asks questions while he's in the middle of a conversation.) She said she's never felt so sorry for him, all confused like a little boy. She future trips about him getting Alzheimer's, which terrifies her.

Actually, I think she was really feeling sorry for herself because seeing him like that filled her with such great fear and dread, not that that's something she could probably understand. She wakes up sometimes and is so afraid that she'll find him dead. I told her that satan wants her to be afraid and when she prays, to pray for a trusting heart and for the fear to be removed by trusting in God's perfect, fear-slaying love. She cried... For the first time ever, my mom asked me to pray for her, that the Lord would heal her of this horrible state of always being afraid. This is BIG.

I was sitting there reading Psalm 55, and as she was laying out her prayer request, my eyes fell to verses 4 and 5--perfect. "My heart is grievously pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling have come upon me; horror and fright have overwhelmed me." Then verse 22 is there to call for action. "Cast your burden on the Lord, releasing the weight of it and He will sustain you; He will never allow the consistently righteous to be moved, made to slip, fall, or fail."

O, please, Lord, lift up my mom out of this pit of fear that tangles her insides and robs her of the simplest peace. Envelop her in Your life-giving arms and breathe solace and comfort into her heart. Grant my dad a clear mind and a gentle tongue. Press them together and against Your heart. In Jesus' name.

In finishing up my reading, I turned to Psalm 145. I read verse 18 and thought That's my bracelet verse! Hey, that's in 165! ...................... Wait, there IS no Psalm 165! All this time I've been thinking it was in a psalm that doesn't even exist! Derrr..........

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