Aftermath

I never ever knew how important it would be to send a sympathy card or make that phone call to inquire or deliver a roasted chicken if not for what I've experienced these last couple of months. Actually, the impact was impressed within the first week after losing my mama, but as the cards and phone calls continued to come in weeks after, the lesson was embossed in my heart, and I will forever acknowledge the importance of reaching out, even if words seem empty and useless to you at the time in your attempt to comfort the grieving.

Sometimes I think I'm over the immediacy of tears, of how ready they've been. I think Okay, I can do this. This is how it is afterward... Then I'll hear a song or read a fresh card or glimpse her precious face in a picture, and I'm completely undone. I am almost desperate for my next dream with her in it. I wake as if from some purchased time with her, analyzing the scenarios and attributing whatever meaning or symbolism they might contain.

I need her life to mean something lasting in mine. Such a loss requires the justice of a profound legacy. It is my co-honor and co-responsibility with the One Who loves her perfectly and eternally to see that that happens. I don't mean to imply that I intend to act as one equally yoked. I only mean that I want to cooperate as He prompts and gives direction. T-H-E-N it will be done with the honor and meaning that He bestows on every one of His ends.