Coffee Quest. Well, it was really for food...

It was Visit Dad day, so I spent some time with him after having sipped on 12 lovely ounces of pumpkin spice coffee on my way. 'Tis the season. eeYUM.

I picked up Ryan at school afterward. There were three cafes that he and Jylle have told me about, so I let him choose. We went to Coeur on North Monroe, and I saw immediately upon entering that there was no "real food." What?! It was 1:00, and I needed sustenance. We decided to split a cappuccino because I've never experienced a real one, and he said they make one of the best he's ever had. We would go to one of the other shops later.

It was a thing of beauty, and I learned not only the reason for the spoon, but the best way to first taste a cappuccino for its quality. (The apple was a gift from Ryan, which he got from a prof at school who keeps giving them out, which I found ironic, given that he's going to be a doctor. Let me know if you're not with me on this.)

Fun, intelligent, thought-provoking company, my Ryan is.

We headed to Indaba on West Broadway, a place Jylle scorns for its lack of every flavor except for four, which are all made in-house. They don't have pumpkin spice. Okay, I can deal with that. But mint! I don't care if you make it yourself, you can find a way to make a mint hot chocolate! It was a really fun place, but--déjà vu--they didn't have any real food either. We decided to go to the third place, promising that we'd come back to Indaba another day at an earlier time. He said to try their lemon vanilla, a specialty drink of which they seem pretty proud.

Chairs is on West Indiana, a place neither of us had ever visited. I knew they had real food because Jylle told me the sandwich she got was deluxe. Yes! This place is modern funky, with yes, a variety of different kinds of chairs.

We split a grilled Tillamook cheese sandwich on Dave's Killer Bread with a bowl of tomato basil soup. It was a small serving and pricey at $8 for the gluten-free version, but it hit the spot, and we drank a camel's share of cucumber water whilst taking in a generous share of good conversation.

For dessert, we made a trek to Trader Joe's to pick up Amy's birthday present so it could be as fresh as possible. The flowers were all arranged and the gifts hidden by the time she got home from work. I had the unexpected opportunity to give her a hug and her gifts--score!

I had a lion's share of coffee, good company, and now, sweet memories. eeYUM!

Another Summer Adios

 Summer is a season we look forward to maybe more than people in warmer climates. Our winters often feel like they last a good six months. Another lovely summer has come and gone, and I wanted to remember some of it in pictures.

Amy's graduation from Montana State kicked off our summer, even though it was in May. We stayed at a cheesy little motel, circa 1940. We just needed a place to sleep, and it did what it was supposed to. Amy's folks treated us to a hearty lunch at Ted's Montana Grill, and I tried a buffalo burger, which was very tasty. They ordered platters of grilled shrimp too that I can't seem to duplicate at home.

Cassie's graduation was in June. She is a darling girl we have come to love and invest in emotionally. She rocks at whatever she does and is one of the most talented people I know. She's going to college in Minnesota with her Jordanian husband. I miss her.

Ryan and Amy were married in Bozeman on Sunday, June 16. It was a stellar day on so many levels. The hotel, the C'mon Inn, was fantastic--seven hot tubs, a pool, a hot breakfast bar, all in lodge decor. Friends and family made the long trek, and their expense of time and money to show their love and support was genuinely humbling. They took communion and washed each other's feet, which was heartbreakingly beautiful. Our mother-son dance was to Rascal Flatts' "My Wish", and I loved every second of it. It was truly a glorious day.

The kitchen in our rental was in dire need of a makeover, so that was our June project. I sanded and painted the second hand cabinets, and painted the kitchen, living room, and bathroom. Can't seem to find a picture of the finished product, so you're welcome to use your imagination.

This is the last picture I took of my cat. I let him out onto the deck one night, nothing unusual, but the last few times I did that, the thought niggled, This may be the last time I do this. It was actually the answer to a literal prayer that he just simply not come back someday. There was definitely something wrong with him. He was losing weight, extremely vocal, and whenever he used the litter box, the smell was absolutely horrid. Our other cat, Goober, had the same symptoms and withered slowly, eventually dying in the garage. I didn't want that for Leonardo or for us. It was a great grace for everyone. Cheers to you, big kitty.

My niece, Hannah, was married in Idaho at the end of June to her Tyler. The ceremony had fun, novelty, beauty, and worship, and the food was fantastic. I'm so glad we were able to make such a truly meaningful occasion. We wish them a long and happy Ever After.

Eden, Tyler, Emma, and Zane

My niece, Jeny, and her family came for a week from the Tri-Cities. The kids love it here, and they spent hours with the animals, especially the horses. They brought three dinners with them, all really delish. Kev took advantage of Mike's knowledge and experience with barbecuing and learned so much. Mike helped him decide on the right grill, and we enjoyed dinners of chicken, pork, and venison.

Kev's lifetime friend, Mark, came with his wife, Alli, which absolutely made Kev's summer. They went horseback riding, but Mark rode the quad. They were gone for quite a while, and Alli had a great time. They stayed the night, and Kev was so happy. It made him feel really good that they would take the time to come see us. It was a lot of fun.

Kev goes up to Tonasket once in a while to help out our friend, Mark, on their ranch. I made it this summer, and we stayed two nights. Tina took me into town where I meandered around the farmer's market. I bought a tamale and some tomatoes and just enjoyed the diversion. I took some pictures of their little colt, a newborn they named Moonshine after he was born on a moonless night (him being a little light on an otherwise dark night). I think Kev has a man crush on Mark in that guy way. He just really admires him, and they enjoy each other's company. I don't mind the bromance.

Caprese with a balsamic reduction

I planted SO many basil seeds, so now I have a TON. I didn't know it was possible to ever have too much basil, but I'm thinking half of this will do for next year. They almost died as starts though. Something ravaged them out on the deck where I was hardening them. I threw some kind of insecticide powder on them and kept them out of the sun, where they slowly came around and then thrived. I've given away as much as I've used and dried, but there's still so much. At least it's one those horrible deer won't eat. They've eaten all my tomatoes, and the voles annihilated the carrots. Vile creatures.

We bought two heifers last year from our Tonasket friends and named them Normal and Abigail. Normal finally had her first calf on September 9. She's leggier than the Lowlines, but Normal is a Hereford, so that's not odd. She's frisky and energetic, and I named her Annie after the one of Stillar fame since it was born on her birthday.

Exactly one week after Annie was born, Lily had her third calf, which Jylle named Howie.  Howie Cow-y. He's been slow to grow as energetic as Annie, but he's coming around. Lowlines have short legs and big eyes, and this one is so cute! I have to remember not to fall in love with him though because he's going to market eventually. Hmph.

Jewelee treated us to pumpkin donuts at Greenbluff, something we only recently discovered. And what a delectable discovery! Glenice bought a humongous cinnamon roll to share, and I contributed a Belgian waffle with huckleberry ice cream. Rosie and I got coffee, which was just delicious, and I'm not a huge coffee fan. We watched the donuts as they plopped into a channel of oil oil, drifted down to the flipper, then plunked into a slowly turning bowl of cinnamon sugar. We went peach picking afterward and came upon The Fermented Forest. The storm from the previous week did so much damage to the trees at Yaryan's orchard, and the smell of rotting fruit filled the air. Three of us ended up buying a box after enjoying the experience of picking. Next month we want to get together to make our own pumpkin donuts, so I hope that works out.

Tina, Rosie, and I went to Glenice's last week to make soap. We somehow missed doing that last year, and we all wanted to try again. The first batch we made has lavender and lard and smells fabulous. The second and third batches have olive and coconut oils, but the citrus is taking forever to harden. The cucumber melon and the cinnamon coffee turned out fine though. Last time I tied a strip of frayed burlap to each bar with some jute and a tag with a label and gave them as Christmas gifts.

It's officially autumn now, my favorite season with its mild temperatures, abundance of fresh produce, and absence of snow. One season melts into another before I know it, just like in life. I was a little girl last year. I was a sweet bride six months ago. I was a young mom last week. Today I have an empty nest, and I'm about to turn 53. The seasons change. I change. I'm thankful for my God Who never does. I'm thankful for the cycles and the reminders of a better Hope. I'm thankful for some lovely summer memories and all the people who made it so great. And I am thankful for you, wherever you are. xo

The Proposal

Ryan proposed to Amy!!!

He left for Bozeman on Friday “to visit.” He’d been preparing for months, carefully searching for just the right ring, asking for input from trusted, wise counselors (including his father), meeting with her father to ask his permission to marry her, planning out how he hoped the proposal would play out, mapping out the particular places around town that held sentiment for the two of them, inviting the people he wanted to participate, emailing the map and agenda, praying, praying, praying.

Kev, Jylle, and I left Saturday morning. It was a lovely day until we got close to Fourth of July Pass. It started raining, and I had taken over the driving at the first rest stop because Kev was exhausted from stacking six tons of hay the evening before. His eyes hurt too. I’m glad he got a little nap in before he started driving again, but I sure don't appreciate wet, windy roads.

Ryan’s plan was to have Amy’s parents, grandma, three best friends, and the two of us meet with Amy, each of us at different locations that held sentimental meaning for the two of them. Her friends were on first, and they would drive her to the different “appointments.” He set it up as a kind of scavenger hunt. He dropped off two photos and a clue at each place. One photo was of Amy and whoever she was meeting with, and the other was of the two of them and had a personal handwritten message on it from him that we were to read to her. Then we were to share our hopes and feelings with her, pray with her, and hand her the next clue. Each clue was in a 3x3 card, sealed with wax, and hand-dabbed with a heart shape.

We rolled into Bozeman with an hour to spare before our appointment. I changed at a rest stop, and we went into town to find the new place we were to be since Ryan just found out earlier in the day that the original meeting place was closed due to a fire. Our new place was only two businesses down from the other, so easy enough.

The plan went into action right on time, but then he called to say that Amy was running ahead of schedule. We were too, so that was good. Jylle was on the phone with him when he stopped talking and said, “Oh, no! Oh, nooo,” and hung up.

We arrived at Moberry’s and grabbed a table, one for Jylle to camp out at while the two of us sat with Amy. They grabbed some froyo while I sat and prayed. Ryan arrived about five minutes later, his face streaming with sweat. His “Oh, no’s” were because he was going to take her car to drive the clues around, but when he got to the first destination, he saw that she had ridden her bike.  He had to run all the way back to get his own car in order to make sure he could get from one place to the next on time.

Amy came in with Megan and Libby about ten minutes later, friends snapping candids and leaving her with her future in-laws. The first thing she said when she saw us was, “You’re here…”  We laughed and hugged and sat down. Her eyes were already a little red, but she was still so lovely. Her hair was the color of mine, and it looked great on her.

After asking after each other’s health and mine in particular because of my fall off Apache and subsequent trip to the ER, we got started. Amy hadn't spotted Jylle, who was seated at a table behind her. As soon as we started talking, Jylle quietly scooted her chair closer and closer to us so she could eavesdrop. I read the note that Ryan wrote to her on the back of the photo. It was about grace and how they were in His grace and that His grace is AMAZING. He thanked her for being honest and real with him and called her “Love,” which I thought was touching because that’s what Kev and I call each other. At the end, instead of reading, “Love, Ryan,” I said, “Love, Michael” just to throw her off. We all busted out laughing.

Kev went first with his own thoughts, reading from the page I’d written for him while he drove and dictated. That took about a minute, then it was my turn. As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew I had to say, “I’m not going to make it through this.” I teared up and stayed just on that edge the whole time. I was able to tell her that she is the answer to a prayer I've been praying for all of Ryan’s life. So for 23 years, even before she was born, she has been prayed for, waited for, and now welcomed. That's not perfectly verbatim, but it's really close. I didn't want it scripted, and Ryan wanted it real. And real it was.

We all met back at Amy's house and toasted this much anticipated engagement. Ryan ordered pizza for everyone, and we went around the room to tell how each of the appointments played out. I was extremely touched by how often her family's comments about Ryan were so glowing. It was obvious that their opinion of him is touch notch. Her father got choked up right away, and it always makes my throat catch when a man cries. Her grandma, "Nonny," was an absolute joy to meet, and her comments at least matched if not exceeded her parents'. They were on board with this relationship from the beginning when Ryan asked Don's permission to date his daughter. Don had never experienced that before. And Nonny was captivated by the fact that Ryan gave her flowers on their first meeting. She hadn't received flowers since she lost her husband nine years ago, and that made a huge impact on her.

Wish this was clearer. It's truly a beautiful ring, domed and studded with small diamonds and a band of two "strands" that overlap on both sides. She loves it!

They've pretty much picked out a venue, and it looks like the date will be Sunday, June 16, 2013. We'll have a reception here for them sometime afterward. Two weddings in two years. We're two for solid two as far as daughters-in-law. Like Aunt Ila said, we're not blessed--we're spoiled rotten.

Chapter 2

My phone rang just after 6:30 this morning. I jumped out of bed because I left my phone in the kitchen overnight. In my grogginess I thought it announced my mother-in-law, but then I could tell by the ringtone that it was Ryan. He asked if we could Skype for a few minutes. In the muddle that was my mind, I could not think of one good reason for us to do that. "I don't have pants on," was my profound reply. He asked, "Is Daddy there?" I said, "Yes, but he's in the bathroom." He hesitated, then said, "I'd really like to Skype. Just for a few minutes."

I put him on speaker, yanked on some sweats, and warned him that I would have to un-hibernate my lappy first. "No problem." We had just connected when Kev joined me. Ryan looked showered, shaved, and altogether well-groomed, whilst we were bespeckled, sweatshirted, uncombed, and crusty. But at least we were there.

He looked like he was thinking of just the right words, and the thought hit me just before he started to say it. "I got a call from UW last night. I got accepted." Insert whooping and hollering and congratulations *here*. My Kevin is an excitable boy, and he lets fly when there's good news. When Jylle showed up on the scene, Kev told her, and she smiled and said, "I figured that's the only reason you'd be yelling and screaming with Ryan at 6:30 in the morning."

The call came last night while he was talking to Amy, and he wasn't going to pick up since he didn't recognize the number. He did though, which was unusual. Amy could hear the guy's voice, and when she heard what he was saying, she ran out of the room going, "AAAHHHHHHH!!!" Ryan said he felt like saying, "Jeepers, Mister, thanks for calling!!" He said his joy level was akin to finding out that his parents are super spies who just saved the world, and then raced back home to bake cookies.

One of the things I loved was when he said that there's no human way he should have been accepted into medical school. Doesn't matter how good your GPA and M-CATS scores are, the percentage of people who get in is pretty low. "Unless God had done this or that, I wouldn't be in." A thankful heart always gets me. Kev told him not to think too little of himself because "I'm not much, but I got Mama." To which I added, "And it's a small percentage who did."

It's his understanding that he'll be matriculating at the Spokane campus--which is sooo great! He also got into the Trust program, (Targeted Rural/Underserved Tracts), which pays for his schooling and which he repays by working a certain number of years for them. Yeah, baby!



This is him studying a placenta during a job shadow. I know, ewww, but it's the only picture I had of him in anything "labby." He'll be wearing these for reals someday. Wow, my Ryrie a doctor. Maybe he's the one who'll save the world.

When Thank You Doesn't Come

It's when I've done or said something with the intent of being encouraging or uplifting that I realize I have subconscious expectations when the thing remains unacknowledged. I was raised to believe that "thank you" was in order after someone did or said something with kind intent. Most of the time this ritual is satisfied to the extent that I only experience a lack of it on occasion. It occurs at least once/month on my big trip to town as I deal with the general public, and even rarely with friends. I have a higher standard for my closest friends and my family, and that's a problem.

I feel all good about something after I've done it, like that person who can't wait for you to open the present because you're just going like it so much! There's that eagerness, that anticipation of something along the lines of "Wow, I really like it--thank you!" If I've put effort into a project, even a little one, it seems like an abortion of sorts when it's met with a "Thank you for that," and the subject moves on immediately.

That's when I have to deal with the Committee as we caucus in order to find out what went wrong. That is usually when I come back to I expected something different, something better, something more. Who was I really doing this for then?
R-i-g-h-t...... I gave a gift with strings attached... or at least one anyway. Whose heart was blessed by the kindness of your intentions? My Father's... and His pleasure is the only thing I need to care about. Freely you have received, freely give.* The burden of unvoiced expectation, like a noose, is severed, as I realize my sin, and I release you from it with my most sincere apologies.

Yes, it would have been nice to know if it meant something to you, but the promptings of my motivation were divine, and you and I are only players in this larger lesson I would not have relearned if you had given me what I expected. See, I often forget that the main character in this story is not me, because most of the time it feels like it is me. The whole world tells me it is. I am reminded once again of that magnificent Protagonist, and I am humbled to the core.

Thank You for letting me play, Daddy. It means everything to me. You mean everything to me. Thank You.


=================
*Matthew 10:8

Again With the Going Back to School

Ryan will go back to school this weekend. I can't believe his whole summer has gone. Looking back, it doesn't seem like there was even one day when I wished we were doing something else. All the days that he slept in and all the time he spent playing guitar or being on the computer, I was glad he was able to. I simply like that he's in the house. I suppose that once he's lived out of the house longer than he's lived in it, the feeling that this is the way it's supposed to be will diminish. Judging from the eagerness in both sets of our parents to see us and have us stay with them, I don't think it ever goes away completely.

Knowing that he's looking forward to getting back and seeing his best friends is worth a lot to my heart. Knowing that his classes are only getting more difficult is a little hard, but I know he can do it. I suppose I'll probably cry again, before and after he leaves, but knowing that's a natural and healthy thing makes it not as dread-full as it's been in the past. One last, good cry pretty much wraps it up until the next time. I just hope he keeps calling at least once/week because that makes me happy. I love you, Ryrie. XO

MSU Parents Weekend

We got to Bozeman about 9:30 MT. A seven-hour drive from home. We forgot to factor in the hour time difference. =(

His hair's gotten long and kind of shaggy, and he grew a goatee to surprise us. When we got close to his dorm, we called him, but he didn't answer his cell phone. I called his room phone, and he didn't answer that either. I tried the dorm desk, and they hadn't seen him, but would keep trying his phone. Finally someone found him. He went to play cards and forgot to take his cell phone with him. Sorry, guys, I'm really sorry.

He seemed genuinely excited for us to be there and introduce some of his friends. We met "Bill," his roommate from China. There was also Nick, Brian, Ben, Adam, Jen, Peter................

The food service used two of the three recipes I submitted for the week before parents visited, so Ryan saved us a piece of "Triple Chocolate Fudge Zeb Cake" (after Ryan's pet freshman, my "youngest son"). It was pretty different from what I serve, gooier, with a touch of institutional taste, but it was fun to be able to see and taste it. (The other recipe was "Slap Your Face Good Blackberry Cobbler." Hey, they asked for creative names...)

The football game was against EWU, our alma mater, so that was kind of fun. We sat in the end zone in seats that weren't ours, but were conveniently up front for Kev's sake. I fretted, but no one asked us to vacate. Jylle played with her phone most of the time. We don't have free texting in our plan, so she takes pictures and renames them. During a bathroom break, I bought a cup of peanuts and asked for a second cup so I could share. The young guy accommodated me, not without questioning eyes from the older employee. She was right to question though because I used the extra to get water from the bathroom. Bottles were $2, and we're on a tight budget, so c'mon, I had to get a little creative.

EWU won, and we were off to visit the brand new fitness center. Ryan taught Jylle the basics of racquetball, which just about killed Kev who was restricted to mere verbal instruction, bah. Wish I could show them. Wish I could get down there and demonstrate how to do it!

We took Bill to dinner with us, and that was fun. He was cute, polite, witty, intelligent, and family-oriented. (I do like me some Asians...) Ryan might invite him to come for Thanksgiving, and that'd be fun for Brett as well. We recommend Famous Dave's if you're ever in Bozeman. Good food, good portions, reasonable prices, and decent service.

The president spoke at a breakfast for families on Sunday morning, and we left shortly after that. We wanted to get back in time for Jylle to make her weekly basketball clinic. The weather was beautiful all weekend, and the fall colors were glorious. Mountains and treed hills in full regalia, yellow and green peppered forests, and the bluest skies with cloud creatures everywhere, one after another for hundreds of miles--so fun! I even saw another heart-shaped cloud, only this one was winged!

My Ryan has changed even in this short time. He's more independent and confident, less reverent and careful. I hope he doesn't change too much. I like him just the way he is. If he does have to change though, I hope it's in his deeps, where change is Good and lasts forever. He's having a great college experience, meeting inspiring people, rising to invigorating challenges, and looking at the future through young eyes large with hope, and heart ready to run, climb, swim, battle, question, and fly.

Godspeed, Ryrie.

off to college

We come in through the south end of campus.

He cannot take a normal picture, this one...

Kev unloading all Ryan's cwap stuff.

in the dorm
(hey, I don't look as old when it's fuzzy =)

fingerprint scanning


dinner at Applebee's

We brought his stuff in through the service entrance in the back. Since we were there a day earlier than everyone, there were no crowds or lines, and the maintenance guy told us the best place to unload, but to watch out for the campus police who would ticket us. I left a note in the window explaining that we didn't know where to park, we'd be right back, and left my cell #. Turned out we had a straight shot of the car from his room, and the police never came around. Tells you that his room view is nothing to write home about, but at least he has wide windows... It's an older dorm, and the window blind is all bent and crooked, the walls are full of tack holes, and the ceiling is really low, but wow, the people are so nice! Every single person was just so nice!

He has work study, so he needs to get a job on campus. He doesn't have a car or even a bike, so he needs something close. The cafeteria is just down the hall from his room, so that's a huge blessing. I told Kev, "You know Ryan. He'll probably make friends with the cafeteria ladies, and they'll give him extra food for later."

Of course, it was a hard thing to leave him. We didn't cry when we left him though, which took great effort for both of us. I told Kev, "Don't cry--that'll make ME cry." He said, "I won't cry--you'll cry, and that'll make ME cry." He always cries when Brett leaves. He's such a softie, bless his heart.

I realized something about myself, that I try to act all happy and positive, and that occupies my mind so that I think about all the good things and don't get dragged down by the sadness. And I'm okay at that unless someone starts crying or talks about how sad it is. Then I break. I tried to be 'up' for Kev as well. Ryan waved to us the from the service entrance door because his key doesn't fit that lock, and he'd get locked out if he came out to the car with us. We waved until we couldn't see each other anymore, and then we faced forward, just the two of us. I asked Kev something, and his voice was choked up and heavy with trying to sound normal. I kept talking as if we'd just done something we always do, and my talking is a distraction for him--gives him something to concentrate on to pull himself together.

I like to schedule my meltdowns, so I finally let myself grieve before I poured myself into bed. It's so bittersweet, isn't it..... the way it's supposed to be, and yet my heart can't seem to get over itself every time there's a serious goodbye.

We realized that with Brett, it was so excruciating, him being in the military and going to such a demanding school, being cut off from any communication with him, being so far away, and even when we could talk to him, just being so dang far away, that for us to drop Ryan off and be able to be so involved made it a whole lot easier than if this had been our first experience letting go. I learned that letting go more and being more hands-off their senior year made this a wee bit easier too. There was already the acknowledgment inside me of their independence and their soon-to-be very different life. It was still difficult, but it was way easier than with Brett.

Having a webcam and being able to Skype will be nice too. I'll be able to see his face when we talk, and that'll be a big comfort, as well as just plain fun.

Another one out of the nest, Lord. An only child at home. Another 'new normal' to learn.

ryan

I just found out that Ryan's spiritual gift is prophecy! I use an exclamation point because it was the kind of revelation that t-bones you right into reality. Being so very STP, when it hit me, I was like, "OF COURSE!" He senses God's promptings way more readily than most of us, interprets the Word accurately and effectively, has this confidence in conversations involving Scripture, and truth matters above all. Our friend, the youth pastor's wife, had some wise advice for him. She said to keep exhorting people to gain wisdom, knowledge, and truth, but remember to love them. Great words. I've reminded him of that on several key occasions, and he's thanked me for it. I pray he keeps that desire for balance.

no cheap seats here

Ryan worked his tush off to become the valedictorian of his class. While I did marinate in that for a good long while, for the life of me, when we walked into the gym all I thought of was, "Cool--we get great seats!" The god of comfort and convenience rears its pointy little head.

Kev & I played musical chairs a couple times so I could have the aisle seat to get some pics and video. I tried to keep out of the way of the official videographer right next to me, but I did forget he was there sometimes, so proud parents just might receive a DVD with a big blue flowered wall that side-steps into the picture now and then.

Ryan gave a shout-out to our family when he got to the podium. With smiles that wrapped all the way around our heads, we wanted to stand and chest-thump a big, "That's MY boy!"

Silently, I thanked God a hundred times for raising this guy Himself, for taking hold of his disposition and wending it along His narrow path. This is the child I freaked over, curling up in the fetal position and sobbing, "I can't do this. I can't be a mother to him. I don't know how. I just don't know what to do." Now he has not only achieved some lofty goals, but he further captured my heart with these words: Mama, I was thinking about you. I thought, "O' daMoms [don't ask] has never lived by herself. Wives usually outlive their husbands, so you'll probably live with me. I can take care of you."

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. ~Ps. 16:6

well done

I saw one of Ryan's old buddies the other day, and it was such a joy. He's a man now with beard stubble, he's all muscled out, he carries on a conversation like an adult and is very personable. What I loved was that he had to make a concerted effort to get to us to say hi. That touched me, and I wanted to fling my arms around him and say, “Thank you for growing up so well!” His girlfriend made him promise to say hi to us for her too. How sweet is that?!

This is the kid who every time he came into the room, I’d say, “Say, ‘Hi, Mrs. Mulligan,’ “ which he promptly did, if not a little under duress but which I still totally appreciated. I hope we can go to his graduation party, just so I can fling my arms around him and say, “Thank you for growing up so well!”

key challenged

We've had to call AAA about nine times in our married life to break into our various cars because the keys were locked inside. Today, Ryan has been the cause of that for the fifth time. Kev & I have been driving for 30 years, Ryan three. He's done this more times than years he's been driving. Granted, the first two times it was just a dumb move by a kid. But these last three--he's NOT paying attention!

Today he grabbed a set of keys that he thought belonged to the Saturn. Stick the key in the ignition, go to school. I get a call, and he's going off about how is it the stupid skinny key fits the ignition but not the door?! I tell him that's not a Saturn key, it's a spare truck key. I'm trying to figure out where the real keys are, and he keeps going on about the stupid skinny key in that one-octave-higher-than-necessary voice. Finally we figure out neither of us has one clue as to the whereabouts of said keys. Kev was the last one to drive the Saturn, and in keeping with the eerie history of something weird, trying, and/or calamitous happening every single time on the very day he leaves town, he's incommunicado in the wake of this dilemma.

AAA gives their guys an hour to get there and help you, and our guy was 50 minutes. Wasn't raining, but it was cold. He was young, nice, and so efficient that he didn't even bother to turn off his engine while he broke into my car. I gotta get some o'those tools--they were cool! He shoved something that looked like a square blood pressure cuff into the door jam, and then pressed a white plastic wedge into the space above that to make room for the long wire thingy that presses the lock open. Nice!

He was genuinely sorry for the trouble, and that goes a long way with me. I wasn't mad or anything, just thoroughly puzzled about where the keys could possibly be. Did Kev unknowingly take them on his trip? Did they fall out in the driveway and get picked up by a dog? Do I have them?! He ended up taking twine and stringing it from the door handle to the lock and tying a great big bow as a very odd, and thus effective, reminder not to lock the doors. It was Jylle he was more afraid of than himself though. The girl's muscle memory is far stronger than the one in her brain.

All went well. They arrived home without incident, and I heaved a huge sigh of relief. We have five get out of jail free cards left this year with AAA, and it's already April. You can do this, Ry, you can do this, baby…

what I like

• having my family home and I'm in the kitchen baking
• getting to stay in on a stupidly cold day
• Ya-Ya time
• drop-in friends who take me out to dinner
• savoring a warm book
• how my dogs love me no matter what
• Grace
• the color of my cat's eyes
• when my family likes what I made
• a bargain wardrobe
• salmon-colored roses
• milk chocolate when it's bendy but not melting
• a full yellow jacket trap
• thinking of better days for Jewelee
• imagining Jamara having a good day
• justice
• but I like mercy more
• my daughter's auburn hair
• an honest answer
• Napoleons
• novel arrangement of words
• buffet pants
• when Kathy is content and appreciated
• father-bride dances
• seeing something familiar in a new light
• baby belly laughs
• the smell of rain on a hot sidewalk
• knowing I encouraged someone
• one wrinkled hand in wrinkled hand
• real butter
• gel pens
• clear pictures of my kids' faces
• Jylle's exuberance
  
• quiet kindness
• campfires
• Jewelee's sense of humor
  
• Glenice's heart
• Rosie-isms
  
• Tina's face when she's thinking out loud and planning something fun
• lovin' on Chelsea
• Cheryl's excitement
• Kim's love for me
  
• the color of Jeannie's eyes
• good manners
• the first heavy snowfall
• the first warm spring day
• croissants
• vibrant color
• shiny things--even fishing lures keep me busy
• pumpkin pie with Breyer's vanilla ice cream for breakfast
• getting a card with a picture in it and something handwritten
• Brett's one-liners
• homemade soap
• being able to give spontaneously
• Josiah
• Stephanie's singing
• the smell of cut grass
• getting facebook & myspace messages
• magenta
• my mom's laugh
• kidding with my dad
• seeing Alan's joyfulness
• knowing Jeny's such a beautiful person
• French silk pie
• seeing my kids run
• capturing a good picture
• loping on my horse
• saying "fluffles"
• mandarin oranges, sweet watermelon, and crisp grapes
  
• Ryrie's "dumb" voice
• handmade quilts
• when I hear Your voice and really listen
• family movie night
• watching one of her brothers patiently teach Jylle something
• Annie's blog
• mexi-fries
• intimate moments
• sunrise in my back yard
• sunset in my front yard
• watching my kids tube
• watching my Kevin water ski
• chenille gloves
• See's chocolate-chocolate butter creams
  
• my front porch swing
• Shasta daisy plants
• happy endings
• Kev's excitement about deer & elk
• when my kids do stuff without being told
• unexpected kindness
• helpful neighbors
• clean comedy
  
• the word "sugarplum"
  
• steelies (maybe I should include this in shiny things...)
  
• making someone laugh
• nice comments
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