Lunch With Jamara

I had lunch with "Mawa" the other day. I was with her for about five hours, and I marveled afterward at how I could've easily spent another five. She got me caught up on all the family fronts and her condition, Adult Stills. That she could go through all the physical and emotional struggle she faces and still be SO up, so full of hope and joy and expectation is nothing short of the miracle of His life in her. I love her perfume--it is the fragrance of Christ. My insides are all warmed and hugged up by the time I leave her company, even if I arrived a first class case of snarky. I think she got that gift from her precious mama. Isn't she beautiful?


She sits on a booster chair to make it easier to get up because her knees are swollen and painful. Isn't she adorable?

She offered me some gum, and I thought she'd pull out a stick. She pulled out a pack, then another and another and another until she'd pulled out seven! She had an eighth, but she gave that one away. "I'm trying to find my favorite gum." Isn't she interesting?

The padding on her crutches has become molded to fit each particular arm shape, so she labeled them left and right. She's going to back over the lettering with fingernail polish to make it pretty and permanent. Isn't she clever?

I love this little girl. She's been through so freakin' much, and she still stands strong and brilliant and inspiring. I wish I had half the life in me that she does. So much goodness, kindness, intelligence, laughter, joy, and love. Abba, please heal her body. Touch her and make her body healthy again. I know You can. Please want to.

in my head

I can't believe you felt like that! I just started laughing! You were belovedly honest and vulnerable, and oh my goodness--I was so surprised, and then I felt kinda wicked for being wanted & missed! I mean, no one goes around telling you stuff like that, right?! =) There was this Are you serious?! You want me?! Cool!

But don't worry--I got over it. I'll never put expectations on you. Freely given, freely received.

Silly girl...... I could never not think of you--I still, probably always will, have you in my head. Spotting your sweet face, especially if it's unexpected, can still make me forget my own name. If I had a tail, it would wag my butt off. Seriously though, I pray for you, and of course He keeps close to the heart the ones we pray for.

When I pick up a book to read, I wonder what you're reading, if anything has made you laugh or hugged your insides or convicted you. Ten times/day I see the rock wall and all the plants you gave me, and I'm thankful for you as I remember that day we walked around your yard and talked while you dug. When I'm unloving and unlovely, I want to be better than my smallness, and I think of you saying that the bottom line is loving God and loving others. My thoughts of late are turned to living life fully, the way that's possible, and everyday I think of the quote you read to me from Saint Iraneus, "The glory of God is man fully alive."

It is one of the most difficult things I had to get used to was being so removed from everyone. You & I had a good thing going, didn't we..... I'm grateful for your love, and I love you right back.

So yep, you're definitely right here with me. Sweeeeet. mmWAH!

moods

I'm cranky. I'm snapping at or criticizing my Kevin, and he so does not deserve that. I thought it was hormonal, and even if it was, which it's not, that's not a good reason. There's never a good reason to be rude. He's been fighting a bad cold, and I've been addressing that, but not with the same compassion that I approach my kids. Fleshy, gritchy, moody woman! Snap out of it!

I need to be addressed once again by Your redemptive, soul-turning loving-kindness. That You never tire of doing this, of stooping way, way down to run a gentle finger down my cheek and pull me close and softly speak Jesus to me... That You never shake Your finger at my misbehavior and wrong thinking... in fact, You don't pay any attn to sin and flesh--You have nothing to do with them... You are utterly fantastic [so extreme as to challenge belief].

You are about washing the insides of this rusty can with Your pure river water. Help me to be patient. Help me not to panic when I don't see any change even after a long time. The water is moving, and the inside of the can is coming clean as You pour through it day after obstacle after need after day. XO

There’s a balance somewhere...

Some people think that if they say things politely, couch their actions with compassion, mean well, lack malice, and/or sympathize with the less fortunate, they are on the side of right--or even righteousness. The final Word though says that without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).

This country was founded on Christian principles. We've tripped and limped and shuffled a lot since then, but the foundations are still there. Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. Stupid judges can overrule the will of the people, but we know Truth when we hear it, and we want it to reign.

There is more to this country than being pro-life or pro-abortion, supporting the traditional family or uplifting the gay lifestyle, prosecuting sex offenders or coming alongside them with healing programs. There is a balance somewhere in-between that embodies the case of Christ, who loves perfectly and is poured out into others through hearts poised toward His.

Surely we who call ourselves His children can find a way daily to come together in Love, Grace, Unity, Peace, and Power, so the world will know something larger than strife. How little we call on the All of God that He offers ongoingly! I don't care WHAT political party you support. Show me whose heart you follow and why. Maybe we can talk. I love you regardless, simply because I can. Isn't that radical...?!

ryan

I just found out that Ryan's spiritual gift is prophecy! I use an exclamation point because it was the kind of revelation that t-bones you right into reality. Being so very STP, when it hit me, I was like, "OF COURSE!" He senses God's promptings way more readily than most of us, interprets the Word accurately and effectively, has this confidence in conversations involving Scripture, and truth matters above all. Our friend, the youth pastor's wife, had some wise advice for him. She said to keep exhorting people to gain wisdom, knowledge, and truth, but remember to love them. Great words. I've reminded him of that on several key occasions, and he's thanked me for it. I pray he keeps that desire for balance.

cat love lesson

Leonardo jumped up on my lap as soon as I started this quiet time. He is completely obvious about what he wants. Today I was actually happy to give it to him. (Usually my lap is busy with books and notebooks, and he's too uneven a surface to read or write on.) He curled up on my lap, and I scratched his head, his ears, his chin, I stroked his back, and he purred like a generator. I was so happy to have him right there with me that I hugged him to me and just held him there for a minute. When I released my embrace, I was delighted to see that he hadn't budged. That hadn't chased him away. He was content to stay right there. He just changed his position a little and then hunkered down for a nap.

He wanted my attention.
I gave it to him.
I wanted his nearness.
He gave it to me.
We are both happy.

Daddy, You want my attention, and You are delighted when You hold me close, and I don't go away. Forgive my going away... Feed and water my desire to stay. I want to give You joy. XO

Love is / is not

On the Love Chapter:

Love is Patience & Kindness

Love is not jealousy

It is not bragging

It is not pride

Love is not rudeness

Is not selfishness

Is not disturbance toward others

Love is not grudgeholding

Love is Righteousness & Holiness & Truth

Love is Acceptance & Acquiescence

It is Trust, Hope & Strength

Love is Everlasting

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Soooo…

Love is NOT:

jealousy

bragging

pride

rudeness

selfishness

disturbance

grudgeholding

(7 total)

Love IS:

Patience

Kindness

Righteousness

Holiness

Truth

Acceptance

Acquiescence

Trust

Hope

Strength

Everlasting

(11 total)

Conclusion: There’s more loving to do than not loving.

I want to get busy. †

I Love This Song

"May the Words of My Mouth"

By Tim Hughes

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways

Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You

    /-_-\
   /  /  \
  /  /    \
  \  \    /
   \__\__/
      \\
      -\\    ____
        \\  /   /
  ____   \\/___/
  \   \ -//
   \___\//-
      -//
       \\
       //
      //-
    -//
    //
    \\
     \\

Happy Valentine's Day, Lord... XO