April Thought Salad

The sun is OUT!!! I'd forgotten what it feels like to be warm outside under total blue and what feels like a full suit of sunshine. Glorious...

Went riding for the first time this year yesterday afternoon. My horse is da man! I was pointing him into woods that didn't have any clear path, and he just went wherever I directed. That's a big deal because it means he trusts me. I remember when he used to shy at painted arrows on the road! I can't believe he's 12 this month. I still call him "baby horse!" He's like a puppy, always has been, so I'll probably always call him that. My friend is going to teach me how to ride him without a bridle this summer. It'll be within the confines of a round pen so I'll be safe. Kev's been making great strides with his paint, who is so lazy and stubborn it's ridiculous.

I wish my insides matched the weather, but I still struggle against melancholy. I try to "choose joy" like they say, but it is a struggle! What am I doing to nurture that...... I'm hoping the sunshine will help a little there. It's been gray and blah for months!

Brett's graduation announcements need to get mailed out. Dad printed a picture to include, so I just have to address them. Oh, Jylleeeeee...!

We're redoing the raised beds out back so they won't look like giant graves.
I wish I could acknowledge my Self in a grave, dead to sin, alive to Christ all the time. Is this a lifetime struggle? Or the struggle of a lifetime...?

The front flower bed needs to get cleaned out. I did a little yesterday, but it needs more, and some Preen too. I thought parsley was a biennial, but this is at least the third year, and there are a billion plants just like last year. I've lost track of when I first planted it, so maybe it's just reseeding itself.

Just when I think I might be getting a foothold on new ground in my walk, it's like the old stuff from last year has reseeded itself, and there's as much as ever. Ripping up the garden sounds so painful and daunting. I'm not a fighter. I don't even try a game if I think it'll be a fail. But this is Life. This is everything. Everything that goes on here will have implications forever, and I don't want to end up in the remedial room, catching up on what should've been "gotten" here. I'm not worried, just thinking as I write.....

Before I talk myself into another Eeyore web, I'm just going to go pray now. I am in desperate need of my Jesus. He's the most joyful thing to think of in all the universe now, isn't He?!

Jesus is My Trigger

Lord, help me to be perfect as You, my heavenly Father, are perfect. Help me grow into complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, reaching the proper height of virtue and integrity (Matt 5:48).

Ps 119:150 - There are echoes of thoughts and habits that resound toward evening that follow after wrong thinking and persecute me with wickedness. They are far from Your law, from Your heart. Help me, Abba, to know and understand what is the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of Your power in and through me, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him at Your own right hand, far above the most exalted honor man could ever conjure (Eph 1:19-21).

The name of Jesus is my trigger. With and in His name I summon the essence and source of life, strength, power, peace, wisdom, and truth. With and in His name, battles are won, enemies are defeated, overthrown and cast out. The kingdom of God is brought to reign in me, and there comes to me His will done on earth as it is in heaven.

mememe

There's a talk show I watch, and the host is into what I'd consider New Age thinking for the most part--what good you do for yourself and others improves yourself and the world. I was listening to a couple of recent guests who promote this topic, and I lost count of the number of references to I, I, I and then you, you, you. One is an author who wrote a book about quantum changes--what you do for yourself affects others and the world at large. I am not a quick thinker and an even worse analyzer, but even I noticed the constant references to self. The consistent thread with these guests is all these admonitions to be a kinder person, to do random acts of kindness, statements to the effect of "showing kindness is not something you do--it's something you are," and "when you show even the smallest kindness toward someone, it makes you feel better about yourself." In the end, eating healthy, being kind, exercising, being positive, all these betterment techniques--the focus is on self. If I do something for you, it'll make me feel better, and it'll make the world a better place, which will make me feel better about myself because I contributed to that, which makes me a better person.

So really, what you're saying is that it really IS all about me!

It all fell so flat for me and was so utterly empty. I felt sad for them, which reminded me of a line from a song, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours," (Hillsong United). No matter WHAT I do, if it originates from my flesh, it is of no lasting value. The world does not acknowledge knowing and enjoying the God of Jesus Christ as the chief end of man and will always strive to fill that God-shaped hole with anything that promises to make it feel better, and they set self on a throne of sand and mist.

I pray for this talk show host, but now I pray with a greater sense of urgency in light of world events (my new most-used phrase).

humbled

I received this gift from a friend, and I was shocked. Not because I don't love her back, but because I would've thought she had at least one friend closer to her heart than me. At first, I thought She must mean this in a general way, like "You're one of my best friends." I even considered that she must not get out much so she must not have much to pick from. Truly, not false humility, but quick mental research into the validity of, to me, such a bold statement. The more I thought about it though, the more I thought Just give it to Him. The best friendness we love is the stuff of Him that pours into us. Let her love the embraces of our Abba that she gets from you.

It's an awesome thing to be spent by Him (and I only and always ever use that word in its original meaning: Something inspiring awe; remarkable; outstanding). To be used in a divine equation, for a glorifying occasion... Jesus used mud to open blind eyes; He can use me to hug a friend's insides. †

Jesus

Jesus is the life I lead.
Jesus is what I say and what I do.
Jesus is why I breathe and how I breathe.
Jesus is where I go and when I go.
Jesus is my mind, my body, my spirit and soul.
Jesus is my eyes, ears, voice, hands, feet, heart, and blood.
Jesus is my thought, my reason, my order, clarity, and light.
Jesus is my beloved Captor.

Jesus is my grin and my tears.
Jesus is my deepest sorrow and most exquisite ecstasy.
Jesus!
~~~~~~Jesus!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~Jesus!!! †

When He Speaks

Reading Matthew this morning, seems to me it's recorded that God the Father spoke when John baptized Jesus. It's not recorded that He speaks again until Rev. 21:3 when His new bride is presented. That's a LOT of silence. But the voice of His Son is heard on every page and is rich and melodic with the strains of the Father's bass. The heart swell of my Abba in the face and longing of Jesus, His desire and passion in the sweeping and weaving of the Holy Spirit as He reveals Jesus...

It is ALL ABOUT JESUS. From Genesis to Revelation, it is all about Jesus. What a gift to treasure and ponder these few days before we gather together to honor the Treasure-Gift from the Father's own heart to ours. XO

One Humble Soul

Did You tell her to do that? Or is she so in tune with Your Holy Spirit that Your prompt and her desire meet and move as one…?

To the outside eye, she might be a woman to be little noticed. They don’t get out as much as they used to, she doesn’t drive, doesn’t have a job, and reads and writes a lot--quiet pastimes.

Yet the effects of her ministry reach far beyond the walls of her home. The words of life she shares with us, her “girls,” draw us up to met the Lord Jesus, and there is nothing in all the whole wide world like it. That contact and communion then has its influence on our own friends and families. The pebble tossed with divine, purposeful intent into the water, reverberates in ever-widening, concentric circles to resonate the unending Truth of Him whose gracious Hand let fall the tiny stone.

The poetry that is her life evokes a celebration in my soul that must be only an echo of the gala in Heaven, where the great cloud of witnesses, Your servant hosts, and Your own great heart call out not only notice, but honor, great worth, and esteem for one humble soul poised toward You, devoted, and trusting.