me my mine I self flesh, all over

My poor husband... He gets smacked around, and it takes him all evening to settle back down. He'll tell me about some gross injustice toward him, and immediately I get my mama bear on, and I get all furious and soulish about it! I got a lot accomplished working out my anger though. Sometimes it is a raging battle trying to get that flesh whipped back down. My faith seems so small, and my self seems so all-powerful and present. My inside eyes are all about me-my-mine-I-me-me-me!

When I feel backed into a corner, bullied, threatened, maligned, or mishandled, my reflex is not to react in the WWJD manner. It's more like punch-you-now, maybe ask questions later. Perhaps some fine day my reflex will show the result of a mature spiritual life pursued, nurtured, and practiced, so I do have a measure of hope. I just wish 'someday' was like, ten minutes ago...

divine encounter

I saw a friend as I was leaving the checkout counter of Safeway, and when I said hi I immediately knew something was wrong. I asked if she was okay, and without much thought, said "No."

Her insides were raging and twisting in reaction to a great offense done to her and her two boys. As I listened, it wasn't that I could relate personally to the injury as much as I felt an all-consuming compassion. I know what wanting to retaliate and backlash feels like. I listened to her anger, her logic, her history with this offender, and remembered well my own. She was on a hunt for this guy, and this was the third place she'd looked.

I told her, "It's no coincidence that you haven't found him. I don't think God wants you to. Right now everything you're feeling is horizontal--it's all about you and him," and I gestured back and forth with my arm. "What He wants is for you to to make it all about Him and you," and I lifted my arm up and down. "I'm not saying this is what I do or that it's easy, but that's where this needs to go."

I am not known for my counsel. I'm a listener and someone who comes alongside. No one asks me for advice, and if it is asked, doesn't get followed. (shrug) That's just the way it is. I also do not confront people. I hide or avoid or make nicey nice in public, but I don't tell people what they oughta do. So... I know this was God's word for her. He put me where she was so she could hear Him because I'm a safe place for her.

It only took one minute for her to receive that and to accept that this was a divine appointment. A church friend, an elderly man, passed us, and right away she told him, "She told me Truth, and she's keeping me accountable!" Being STP (slow to process), it wasn't until this moment that I realized Jesus had just taken place. Emmanuel--God With Us--was right here, right now, right then, inside us, in front of us, the whole thing intended to reveal Jesus, who is Truth.

It is an extremely humbling and incredible thing to be used by God. To have been a container and a medium for His communication to a hurting Child is an other-worldly experience, and I will never forget this.

Well, until senility creeps in, but that's another post.