audio 'quiet' time

I've been listening to some New Testament while I walk in the morning. I don't get the extravagant spans of time in the Word in the summer. I like it quiet, and there's nowhere to go once my Kevin gets up. He likes his news & sports channels, and with the Olympics on right now, well...... I thought at first it would be a good idea to at least be able to listen to some of Your word, just to get a little more of it, but it's definitely not the same! I get the sense that it's still washing me, running rivulets of Your pure, good stuff throughout, but it's definitely not an exact substitute for the sit down, stew on it variety.

There are a lot of things to listen to, and I thought Your word would be in my top three. I'm just too STP (slow to process). I've also come to realize how much of what I listen to I don't actually hear. I get distracted even with someone speaking into both ears. I've learned to tune out, and that's not something I want to do with Scripture. I don't want to make it white noise. I'll just stick to the novels and podcasts now for the most part unless there's some chapter or verse I want to hear over and over.

I am unspeakably glad that You are the most difficult being in the universe to offend. You let me try stuff and are always joyful for me. Thank You for rooting for me! XO

Good-bye, Grandma...

My fake grandma passed away yesterday. I called her Grandma, and my kids called her Baba. Mom called to give me the news, and even though she kept saying she just wanted me to know, she talked at length, and I think she needed to speak out some of those feelings and memories. Made me wonder if a person always has regrets after someone loved dies. Seems as if no matter what you did or how much you loved, it wasn't enough to make you absolutely sure you had no regrets... Surely some people have no regrets…? Guess personally, I would.

So many times during those years I thought my mom's head would split wide open and her blood pressure would make her whole body explode because of the intense aggravation. They're both opinionated, set in their ways, "right," and don't like being told what to do. So off they went into town at least twice/week, this hard of hearing, volatile, untamable Filipino, and a wiry, pushy, old Ukrainian moneybag in a big ol' Buick Park Avenue.

I’ll remember her for her great cooking, the lavish spreads she’d put on having cooked everything herself. From the shrimp cocktail to the beet borscht, then roast beef, ham, and sausages, the hearty side dishes of potatoes, cabbage, and simply dressed lettuces, to three kinds of desserts, including pies made with homegrown fruit inside a crust made with lard. The food in her home was greasy, fatty, bready, sugary, exotic, and unfamiliar anywhere else but there. There was always hard candy on the coffee table and in the summer, mulberries and raspberries to pick and eat off the branches.

This is the farm where I learned to drive a huge grain truck while everyone else hefted the shocks of wheat into the back. We spent birthdays and holidays there, and there was stability in knowing that’s what we did. They weren’t my real grandparents, but they were the closest thing I’ve ever had, and I’ll miss knowing she’s there. Does the world always seem a little dimmer when someone you love isn’t here anymore?

This is a relevant song in light of my last current event.

at the end of the day

At the end of the day, I count my many blessings and consider this quote: A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle (~Erin Majors). Did I shine a little? Did I matter? Did I pour any life into someone? I want to give more than get, live more than get by, get on with joy rather than ruminate over how to get some. I want to live simply, fully, and well. That is a life well-lived. Which brings me to the second quote that comes wafting in at eventide: The glory of God is man fully alive (~St. Irenaeus of Lyons). O, worthy aspiration! †